Wednesday, May 6, 2009

cinco de mess.

so apparently i got a leetle bit out of control last night after my day-long cinco de mayo fiesta. the floor is suspiciously gritty this morning. i blame those pesky margaritas! my roommates, however, blame me. hmmph.

so being the good little bear that i am, i decided to clean up the apartment this morning. i've never attempted vacuuming before - i don't do chor
es! - but since unemployed roomie was busy, i decided to heft the big old machine out of the closet myself and start cleaning up the floors to the best of my abearability.

little did i know how hard it would be to maneu
ver the big stupid monster! by the time i got into the bathroom my paws were burning, i had been wrapped in the hose three times, and i started feeling hot and delirious. this may or may not have contributed to the fact that i then put the vacuum a tad too close to our toilet paper holder...

uh oh.

and that wretched vacuum started sucking the paper in!! i stretched up to try and hit the OFF switch, but i couldn't reach it. hoisted by my own petard!

goodness. this musn't be two-ply!

the roll just kept on unraveling, the vacuum just sucking up miles and miles of toilet paper. when would it stop?! and what size rolls do these girls buy?!

stop the madness!

in a panic, i threw myself down on the bathroom floor and hoped that the crazy vacuum would just suck me up as well. thankfully, my roommate finally heard the ruckus in the bathroom and raced in to help. it took about five minutes to yank all that paper out of the vacuum hose. evil beast!

this bear is NEVER cleaning again!


  1. This entire debacle is a damn good reason never to do housework again, Bear. Wallow in your own filth, and be proud of it!!

  2. that's excellent advice - i am printing this out and carrying it around with me for the next time someone tells me to wash my paws, pick up crumbs, or take a bath...

    no can do - i am wallowing in my own filth!